Friday, January 28, 2011

Goals for the Grieving Christian

In the 1600's, Puritan Pastor John Flavel experienced many hardships and much grief. His parents died because of their faith; his first wife and child died during the birth of that child; his second and third wives also died. In 1674, two years after the death of his second wife, Flavel wrote a small book for his congregation entitled "A Token for Mourners". In that book, now republished as "Facing Grief - Counsel for Mourners", he meditates on Luke 7:13 which says "And as the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her, and said to her, 'Weep not' ".

In the introductory portion of the book Flavel lists six goals for the grieving Christian. I have summarized those as follows:

1. Don't try to be delivered from grief too quickly. Grief is a God-given response to the loss of anything of value. The death of a dearly loved one is a grievous event. Grieve well in order that God's comfort will come in His timing and will thus remain.

2. Determine that, although you and grief have had a sad meeting, you will one day have a comfortable parting of ways. We must always keep in mind that the heartaches have not entered our lives unnoticed by God and that He will ultimately use even these things for good.

3. Learn well that this great sorrow will make you more aware of the evil of sin, the vanity of life, and the fullness of Christ. Death is the great consequence of sin. Were there no sin there would be no death. But now, because of the evils of sin, there is death and life is full of struggles. For the Christian, all the deep pits of grief and the emptiness of life is ultimately conquered by the fullness of Christ.

4. Determine that the great love to and delight you had in your loved one will now be given to Christ. In so doing, the love of Christ will overflow the banks of your soul and nurture both your heart and the hearts of those around you.

5. Strive to allow the strength and peace of God to grow in your heart. Always recall that the soul grows both peaceful and wise by sitting still and quiet under the hand of God.

6. Learn to die daily to all worldly pleasures and joys and live with Christian joy as one who is prepared for the day of your own death. Every time a loved one dies it is surely a warning knock on the doors of our own hearts. The Scripture says it plainly: "For it is appointed unto man once to die, and after this the judgment" (Hebrews 9:27). Your hope of seeing your loved one again is based on the sufficiency of Christ to "save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through Him" (Hebrews 7:25).

Dear grieving Christian who reads this blog: Grieve well. God has given you this marvelous gift of grief. Use it wisely; use it for the good of your own soul; use it for the glory of our good God. He has not paced the streets of gold wringing His hands and wondering how He let this slip by Him unnoticed. No! He is yet on His throne; He yet rules in majesty and power; He is yet the friend of sinners; He yet does all things well. Even in this great sorrow and even in this time of heart-wrenching grief, He yet cares for you. Frank Graeff, the hymn writer, put it well:

Oh yes, He cares--I know He cares!
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares
.

May the Savior who truly cares give you much of Himself in these difficult days. If we can ever be of assistance to you, feel free to let us know.

No comments: